Here for a Limited Time Only…YOU!

While time is infinite, each of is mortal. During our finite time on earth, we each want to make our mark.

Mercifully, humans are built to push the thought of our impending mortality to the back of our minds in order to allow us to experience the joy of the present. However, we humans also tend to swaddle ourselves in the blanket of complacency. When the alarm sounds to take the actions needed to achieve goals, we all too often hit the snooze bar and roll over for just a little more time in the comfort zone. 

But just like when we hit that button once too many times in the morning we are left scrambling, sacrificing and putting off until tomorrow what we couldn’t accomplish today. 

Inevitably, though, someday tomorrow will not arrive. 

And it isn’t the thing you do, dear, It’s the thing you leave undone Which gives you a bit of heartache At the setting of the sun. ~~ margaret sangster

And then the question becomes…What are you comfortable leaving undone when you depart this place for the next?

Today…rip off that blanket, pick up that guitar and learn to make your music with it…reconnect with that old friend and tell her how much you miss talking to her…take one of those ideas bouncing around your brain and write that f*ckin novel already!

Here for a limted time only…YOU! Make it a big deal. 

Thank You Veterans for My Blog

WOW…what a week it’s been so far! We made history in multiple ways. We will continue to do so in the days to come. 
As Americans, we have the freedom to express our opinions and engage in discussion when we have a different point of view. 

Where else but in America could I, a woman of Hispanic and Jewish discent, pour my thoughts out onto this blog then broadcast them to any number of the millions of others out there in cyberspace? My greatgrandmother Lily was denied the opportunity to read or write when she grew up in Europe. It was useless to educate a female…let alone a Jewish girl. Oh my…how far our bloodline has flowed with her arduous journey to America!
With all the current passionate disagreement, the one thing we can agree upon is that it is our US Armed Forces that protect that and all other freedoms for all Americans. 

Today, please exercise your freedom of speech and thank a Veteran for his or her service. 
God bless every soldier, sailor, marine and airman. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Good Night Sweet Prince, Good-bye

Prince came into my life at a very painful and confusing time. At 14, we’re somewhat obsessed with finding out who we are and where we fit in. My pedigree is not the best and thought it would forever define me. I self-identified as a misfit…still do…and believed that it put limits on me. Inside I was weird and dark and retreated into ink on pages, whether the words i wrote myself or ones i read written by others while listening to music.
purple rain cover
I my adolescent self felt instantly connected with Prince when Purple Rain came out. Not only was the album filled with funktastic tunes with a sound i never heard before but the lyrics…they were trippy and poignant and raw. And Prince, the artist himself, was among the first to show me that a person is more than his/her pedigree. That the only limits on me were the ones I put on myself. That it’s okay to be quirky if that’s who you are. That retreating into your creativity can emblazon your mark on this world. That being diminutive in stature doesn’t mean you can’t be larger than life when you find your passion.
Most of all, Prince showed me that you can and should fly your freak flag freely.
You've got the butterflies all tied up Don't make me chase you Even doves have pride How can you just leave me standing? Alone in a world so cold? Maybe I'm just too demanding Maybe I'm just like my father too bold Maybe you're just like my mother She's never satisfied Why do we scream at each other This is what it sounds like When doves cry
You’ve got the butterflies all tied up
Don’t make me chase you
Even doves have pride
How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe I’m just too demanding
Maybe I’m just like my father too bold
Maybe you’re just like my mother
She’s never satisfied
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry
It’s been a really long time since I’ve listened to Purple Rain or any Prince songs. But I think the most enduring artists leave you with more than just their artistic creations.  They resonate with you at the core of your being.

See the Big Picture…The Solution is Already There

Tunnel Vision. This is one of the key components of depression. It is the disease’s way of not only keeping you in its grips but strengthens its hold on you. The problem (and to the depressed mind that it often oneself) and its misery are the only things that exist. 

But that’s not true. There is an entire world that can be drawn upon to help you make your way out. You just have to allow yourself to see it. 

Often it feels like an impossible struggle to simply lift your head. Do it anyway. It’s worth it. 


Happy Easter 

Easter is the celebration of the sacrifice. We are reminded that Jesus died for our sins. As a mother, i think i get that. If i could, i would take any punishment to spare my baby girl from suffering. But that is not always a good idea. I think that we need to be willing to face our own sins a little more often and accept their consequences. After all, being human it is a given that we are sinners. Being repentant celebrates humanity. Is there a more noble way to honor the life we have been given than to accept our frailties and find strength in one another for it?
Be kind. Remember, we are all in this life together. 


Better Late Than Never…I Hope

Me 10 yrs old face
For decades I buried you so deep, even I forgot about you…but you kept hoping one day someone would save you. 

I emotionally abused you with my disgust, loathing and poor choices…but you found a way to survive. 

I covered you in layers of fat…but your heart still beat strong. 

Hang on a little while longer, kid. I’ve got my shovel, the f*ckin elliptical…and most of all…love. 

Today and all the days that follow…I’m on my way to save you. 

Does Fan equal Friend? Usually…Not Always

And what a delight to make friends with someone you have despised!~~ Colette

Facebook makes it so easy to keep track of the happenings going on with the people we care for who might be outside our inner circle. I’ve reconnected with a lot of people I lost touch with. Absolutely priceless gifts. I made new, real friends online, too. People I share common interests with that I never would have met without social media. Truly unexpected blessings. Among the greatest blessings has to be when I connect with someone that I didn’t care for back in the day but find that I genuinely care for them now. Life is full of growth and second chances. 

It all has helped me realize a few things…

That perspective is reality. I was hurt, damaged and suffering years ago. I saw the world and everyone in it through those eyes. Older, wiser and liking myself better now, I realize all of us were fumbling our way through, figuring out who we were while trying to look cool. We failed a lot. We were assholes very often because of it.  Myself included.  Big time. But that’s all part of our rites of passage, isn’t it? I find it comforting that so many of us made it to where we are today and that I can have “new old friendships.” Plus those awkward times make for killer tales now. What made us cry then often makes us laugh today. 

That you can go home again. As we all grew out of the drama of teen angst, we became the adults in charge. With that came very real life challenges to face, often with others relying on our decisions. It’s stressful. It’s scary. Sometimes even life-or-death. Life somehow got very real. Nostalgia provides relief. Incredibly powerful relief from the daunting grownup issues of today — mundane and profound varieties alike. Looking at old photos of ticket stubs from when The Ramones played Our Lady of Lords (I still have a few of my actual stubs) or Alley Pond Park and Creedmoor then engaging in “remember that time when…” stories with others about them. And if you are incredibly blessed like I am to have friends “who knew you when” to lean on and who can lean on you when life has its way with you…well every conversation is the safety of homecoming. That warm energy deep within generated by the past helps me smile and say I got this today. 

That not everyone on your “friends” list is actually your friend. Just as each of us has a brightside, we each have a darkside, too. The stealth nature of social media lends itself well to feeding that darkness. It’s why some of my friends take breaks from it here and there. I get that…even though I can’t wait to see them return. What I don’t get is what the point is in befriending someone you dislike because you dislike them in order to keep track of them and continue to dislike them. I’ve even known people who have gone so far as to create online aliases to continue to do so after the person they dislike blocked them. If you did this in outside life, you’d be called a nutcase, deemed a stalker and depending on how invasive you are, you might be subject to arrest. Why then would anyone think this is appropriate behavior online? Sanity aside…who has that kind of time on their hands? I struggle to stretch the day long enough to include all I need to and want to do in my professional, personal and community life. Even if I wanted to, it would be impossible to give time to stalk someone I dislike without taking it away from someone or something that brings me joy. How can that be worth it? Even more mind boggling is that I found that there are some who even stalk by proxy. Sadly it has recently come to my attention that some of my “friends” have given information to others I blocked. Not only is this a betrayal of trust but it potentially puts me and my family in harms way. Uncool. There are very real reasons why people get blocked. Respect that. You rarely know the whole backstory. 

While we all need alone time, we are not designed to be solitary beings. When we connect with one another, we fulfill what we are destined to do. We reach our full potential. We help others reach theirs. Be the rain that grows the garden…not the storm that spoils the parade.